So much seems different to me these days, mostly how I feel about things. It's like my passion for creating is not there, my creativity is just not there. My life seems more full of just everyday normal things, mostly taking care of my children and keeping house. It's like, how do I even find time to create? I'm not saying any of this in a bad way. It's like I've realized what's more important in life and the fullness of it, not that I didn't know before, but just needed to get my priorities in order. And far as I'm concerned I still have a lot of learning to do in this area! Something changed in me, and it wasn't just recently, it was over a month ago. I think I went on a big marathon of creating a bunch cards a few weeks before we moved. I was excited and I was all pumped about card making and blogging. Then something changed. I don't know whether it was just because I knew we had to move and I didn't want to take time out from packing and all of that to make things or create, but it was more like that desire just wasn't there anymore. I know I go through fazes and then they come back. But for some reason this one has not come back. It's funny too, because when I originally started my blog I pretty much created it with the intent that it would mostly be of my digital scrapping, that's what I was/am mostly into. I never really did traditional (never had the extra money to get into it), so I used what I had and realized I already had all the means to get into digital scrapping, so that's what I did! And then to my surprise, I started my blog out with posts of cards I started making! Ha!! I think it was b/c I had all my stuff given to me and it was new and exciting, so that's what inspired me to get into it again.
Anyway, I'm sure you're all wondering what I'm getting to here.. Ha! I think I am just going through a change in my life or a "reorganization" of my life. Setting goals and priorities that are meaningful and fruitful in my life, things that will last and speak forth throughout the rest of my life. Focusing on raising my children, growing in the Lord and seeking him more, setting a better example for my children, being more thankful for my life and people and things I have in my life, learning to love myself and be happy with who I am, not get so down and upset with myself, love and respect my husband more, be a better help-meet for him and being the Godly wife, mother, and woman God wants me to be. Those are my goals and my priorities right now.
Not to worry about if I make it in time for a challenge going on, or some new fad in the scrapbook world, and not be afraid I might miss out on what the latest happenings are right now, or seeing if someone is online to chat or comment on my blog. Not to consume myself with the things that don't bring forth any Godly fruit. I'm not saying that blogging and creating is a bad ungodly thing ( I have met so many wonderful ladies through having a blog and have been blessed with a few friends through it as well, and I am so thankful for that!). But just what I allowed it to become for me, how many hours in a day I would consume my day with just blogging and sitting on the computer, doing nothing really. Feeling pressure to stay with the latest fads and challenges, contests, etc. Worrying about what other people think or say. I put too much pressure on myself, and too much valuable time into that. When I could have been using that time to spend with my children, or seek the Lord and read his word more.
I'm only speaking about myself here, I don't want any of you to think that I am accusing anyone or judging anyone. This is totally my feelings and what I'm going through right now.
I have not been happy with myself. I think I let myself get so consumed with all this blogging and such that I became someone I am not happy with. I realize it's time to do something about it and not give into laziness.
I want to grow stronger in the Lord and my relationship with him, to allow him to be #1 in my life like he should be! To allow him to change and mold me into who he wants me to be. I need to be the one that's willing and giving it over to him. Otherwise if I try and take the reins he can't drive and I have taken his ability to lead me, away.
So with that said. I just want you all to know that I am sorry for all the silence, and sorry I don't have fun things to share with you. And it's not to say that I will never make cards or scrap again. But that I will do it when I feel I want to or have an opportunity to. And there may be times where I will do it a lot too, but for now I'm just relaxing, not stressing. I do want to make things and create some gifts for people, so that will be things I will try and do. I may just not share everything on here. I did actually make a couple cards for the first time since we've lived here the other night. And it was strange, I had fun, but I still just didn't feel the vibes like I use to, ha!
So I may be putting card creating on the back burner for now. I may pop up with a few here and there- Who knows!! My one goal in the creative world that I am going to try and keep up with is scrapping my boys. Even in that, I am so terribly behind that I feel overwhelmed so I don't know where to start, because I have THOUSANDS upon THOUSANDS of photos of them to scrap. So I need to just take it one day at a time. So I may post a few digi pages here and there. Again, who knows what I will end up doing!
So I hope this doesn't upset any of you and I hope you will still visit me! I still enjoy seeing what others create and I love to hear your kind comments on here!
Anyway, I was on the computer thinking about being thankful and how this week is Thanksgiving week and an idea popped in my mind. I thought of posting about something I am thankful for each day leading up to Thanksgiving day. I know that Monday is all over with but this will count for my first day, Monday and what I'm thankful for. And I will probably make it multiple things each day because there is SO much to be thankful for! Gosh it's SOOO late!!! I don't pull many late-nighters these days, I did so tonight because my hubby wanted some of his clothes washed for work tomorrow. I seriously just did a ton of loads! But now that he has a new job he doesn't have to wear anything too nice, so he doesn't have a whole lot of outfits for work, so they have to be washed more often. Anyway, Sorry for this EX-TREMELY long post, and I soo appreciate that you actually took time to read through all of this!! I know I got all wordy on you all again! I'm still me and I'm here and alive and well! Just some changes going on- and for the better! PRAISE THE LORD FOR THAT!!
So for my first day I am thankful to God for his providing us with our new home-a roof over our heads, and heat to heat our home!
{Yes, this is my new house!}
Feel free to post what you're thankful for each day on your blog! Leave me a link so I can see! God bless! And hope you have a fantastic holiday week!
